The year 2020 was NOT the year to have made life-changing decisions.

Granted, we thought this year would be full of new things, new opportunities, new... everything. What we got instead was a year full of heartache, death, depression, and WTF moments.

I can't even begin to summarize this year and how it's affected millions of people all over the world - but I don't really need to, don't I? We've seen it on the news and some have experienced it too close to home. Overall, COVID-19 was the biggest, baddest, most horrible bomb this year could've given.

I initially wanted this post to be a look-back post on the world's state and the calamities we've all faced, but who am I to speak for the millions who have been most affected? It's not something I can speak of, BUT I CAN talk about my own experiences.

This year, I had plans to travel across Asia. At the end of February, I already had a hotel booked in Japan and one in Bali. I wanted 2020 to be my breakout year, just me going around and experiencing things on my own. Boy was THIS the wrong year to do so.

You know that feeling of a new beginning? That drive to break free of constraints since there was nothing holding you back? That eagerness to try something new was something I was feeling at Q1 before everything went crazy. I wanted so bad to do my own thing and just be that badass traveler/nomad I always wanted to experience, working remotely and living life the way I wanted to.

Then COVID-19 smacked everyone on the face (and the back of the head).

It shocked me initially, since the last thing anyone expected was a pandemic (and so early in the year). But at the back of my head, it didn't seem too serious so I went ahead and scheduled my trips. When news broke that it was deadly AND contagious, I stopped. At the time, we had no idea how serious it actually was and how it would change everything.

Fast forward to December 2020, and we're all wearing masks and face shields (in the PH at least). The "new normal", as they like to call it. I wouldn't mind masks in cold weather, but wearing one in the PH is incredibly infuriating. It's itchy, rough on the face, extremely hot and humid - it just annoys the hell out of me.

I totally get that we need it to stay safe and stop the spread of the virus, but that doesn't mean I can't complain about it. I still wear it, but that comes after I complain and fret about having to wear one. But let's move on.

As I was saying, the pandemic shut down all my plans.

From enjoying the beaches of Bali and visiting Japanese shrines and anime districts to being a couch potato, working at home, and layering on the pounds monthly... it wasn't what I wanted to do, but here we are.

This might be coming off as a complaint, but you have to understand that no one wanted COVID 19. There we were, dreaming of a better year, when this suddenly happens. Who wouldn't complain?

Then again, we can't stay stuck and do nothing.

So there's the topic of working from home. I am so terribly blessed to have a job that's stable and a boss who is very understanding and encouraging. Working from home has been one of the best things I could've gotten into this year, before we got slapped.

I can only imagine how frustrated other employees must be, if they're under companies that haven't adjusted to the pandemic and who don't have their workers in mind. Tough times.

The year that was supposed to change people's lives for the better became the year it all went down the drain. From celebrity deaths to real life, personal struggles - 2020 has changed us. Changed us.

One other thing I've come to like about this whole ordeal is the fact that I am feeling much more... myself. Being at home really grounded me, made me reflect on decisions I've made in the past and what I need to do moving forward. When you're in an argument with yourself though, the debate goes on for days.

The point of this article? Nothing, really. It's been a while since I just sat in front of my computer and typed away. No structure, no topic, just me and my thoughts.

This is probably irrelevant to everybody but my blog started out as a diary for me to look back on after years and years, and I want to keep it personal. Regardless of how many sponsored posts I've written, this is still my personal online diary I let everyone read, haha.

Life can get better. It will. If it feels like you have no control over your circumstances, you don't. You know who has? God. Trust the process. Cliché, yes, but true. Nothing will ever come from doubt or fear. The moment you doubt yourself, the easier it will be to fail.

So yeah.

I SO can't wait for 2020 to be over.