It's Christmas, and Everyone's Quiet
For years during Christmas, I've been used to noisy neighbors, paputok everywhere even if it's not the new year yet, and generally just a lot of people being loud.
I don't know if this has something to do with the pandemic (which is most likely), but it just feels off.
Our Christmas eve was spent watching Netflix, chugging beer, eating Wasabi chips, roasted chicken, salad, and more. It was a typical day for us, excluding the "pigging out" part.
It was just way, waaaayyy too quiet.
Even my dad couldn't help but point it out while we were watching "Miss Americana" on Netflix together (what can I say, I got control of the TV today, haha).
Just finished writing in my Hobonichi, and I am way too excited to begin writing on my 2021 Hobo. So much more space to write down my thoughts and plans.
Speaking of plans, I have my own goals written down. Like I do almost every year, I start January by writing a post to myself a year later, then my goals for the new year. Will do that on January 1, 2021.
I don't know why I decided to randomly post a blog today, but it's just me trying to get my thoughts together.
Plans have been swirling in my head as well as tasks I still need to do for work (and get ready for when we come back next year).
Anyway...
I think this post is already too long for Christmas.
Most of what I want to say can be reserved for my new year post, so we'll leave this as is for now.
Merry Christmas and I hope everyone's having a great time despite the pandemic!
This nightmare of a year is almost over!
How Has the Coronavirus Affected Your Relationship?
Out of the many things that have come from the Coronavirus pandemic, there's one that hits close to home - relationships.
For couples who live together, they've been thrown to "bear with each other" 24/7, with no escape for work or social lives.
On the other hand, it's had the complete opposite on other couples, forcing them to have a long-distance relationship where there have been months in-between visits or very little physical contact, if at all. Both of these situations can place huge amounts of pressure on a relationship.
Let's have a look at how to identify and deal with some of the seismic shifts that the pandemic may have done to your relationship and how to get back to a more even keel as the world begins to return to normal.
Let's have a look at how to identify and deal with some of the seismic shifts that the pandemic may have done to your relationship and how to get back to a more even keel as the world begins to return to normal.
You've spent too much time together
While having the opportunity to spend quality time together sounds ideal, living in each other’s pockets for months on end with nowhere to go and no other people to talk to can be incredibly difficult.Traditionally, divorce lawyers are at their busiest after Christmas and summer vacations when couples have spent more time together than normal.
Imagine what it's like after six-month-long lockdowns! Spending too much time together can cause couples to argue and bicker and what may be relatively minor issues can seem huge when there is no escape.
How to deal with it: Make sure each person is getting some time to themselves, whether that is escaping to the bedroom for a couple of hours watching a movie while the other looks after the kids downstairs or for one to go for a long walk by themselves. A little bit of time and space can do wonders.
How to deal with it: If there's not enough time to get away, you may just need to get a little more creative or be prepared to go to sleep later/wake up earlier. If it's causing problems in the long term or making existing problems rear their head, you may want to consider getting in touch with sex therapists for professional advice.
How to deal with it: Sit down together and look at your income and expenses. When you have an idea of how much money you have coming in and how much is going out, you are in a better place to make a plan.
How to deal with it: Make sure each person is getting some time to themselves, whether that is escaping to the bedroom for a couple of hours watching a movie while the other looks after the kids downstairs or for one to go for a long walk by themselves. A little bit of time and space can do wonders.
Lack of adult time
Many children have been off school for months this year, and even though many are back in school now, they may have to isolate if in contact with COVID-infected people or be affected by school closures. This can mean a lack of adult time - no chance to have sex without children in the house or have private conversations. This can be stressful and have an impact on a relationship, particularly if it goes on for a long time.How to deal with it: If there's not enough time to get away, you may just need to get a little more creative or be prepared to go to sleep later/wake up earlier. If it's causing problems in the long term or making existing problems rear their head, you may want to consider getting in touch with sex therapists for professional advice.
Financial pressures
Lots of households are feeling the strain on their finances at the moment. Businesses are closing, people are being made redundant left, right and center and many workers are furloughed as their industry cannot work safely during the pandemic. This can put a squeeze on even the most secure of family finances, but if you were already living on the edge, it can be the tipping point. One of the most common causes of family arguments is over money, and it can cause huge amounts of stress.How to deal with it: Sit down together and look at your income and expenses. When you have an idea of how much money you have coming in and how much is going out, you are in a better place to make a plan.
Create an Inspiring Relationship
Ah, relationships.
Seems like this year, everyone did one of three things: got into one, broke up from one, or remained a single-in-a-relationship-with-myself kind of person.
Regardless of status, it's important to know how to care for a relationship and how to make sure you're both inspiring each other, and be inspired by each other. Big difference.
A relationship isn't just a happy, sweet cloud. It's much, much more than butterflies in your stomach or that rush of blood to your cheeks whenever you cuddle or kiss.
Here are some ways to create a better, inspiring relationship. :)
Have realistic expectations
Nobody is under any illusions. Being in a relationship is hard work, but it's worthwhile when you get into an upward spiral with someone and inspire each other to achieve great things with your lives. But being in a relationship is also a kind of dance you have to master.The first thing you'll notice is the friction. Small frustrations and annoyances... these come from having different expectations of what you want and need. Understanding these expectations for your life and them is the first step to creating more harmony.
Talk with each other
Communication is the root of a healthy relationship, necessary for it to function well and be inspiring. Communication happens in many forms. It might be everyday communication that feels like it creates a bond. It might make you close, but it's not enough to bring true inspiration.Meaningful communication, on the other hand, is a powerful way to bring you closer, create real understanding, and allow inspiration to flow. To practice meaningful communication, set aside some time each day or week to talk about your thoughts and feelings. This leads to greater understanding, more inspiration, and [potentially] a 1 carat diamond ring.
Be willing to compromise
If communication is the root of your relationship then compromise is one of its many branches. No relationship can be successful without a healthy compromise between partners. This compromise might take the form of everyday tasks, or it might be more significant life issues.You'll see how all the parts of the relationship work together to create a healthy and inspiring way of life. For one thing, your communication will create an understanding between you that will help you to compromise. A good compromise usually means neither of you gets what you want, but you each get some of what you want.
Look after yourself
For an inspiring relationship to really work, you need to look after yourself as much as you care about the relationship. If you feel that something isn't working it doesn't mean the whole thing isn't working and you need to abandon it - it might mean you need to take more care of yourself.If you aren't inspired, then you can't expect there to be much inspiration in the relationship either. Do something that made you happy before the relationship - join a class or meet up with friends. You need to remind yourself that life is about a total experience, not just a relationship.
You need to remind yourself that life is about a total experience, not just a relationship.
Be dependable
A dependable partner is someone who is there for you when you need them (or even when you just need a presence to calm you down). That could be logistical, such as turning up at the right time, or giving you a lift home when you need one. Or it could be emotional, like when you need to talk something out and they're willing to listen.Dependability is another branch of the relationship tree, along with communication and compromise. If you can work on these aspects of your relationship you will start to notice it changing, turning like a giant wheel that's been stuck for a long time. What you thought was rusted and fixed will become loose, free, and once again inspiring.
I hope you're having the best relationship ever, and that these tips will help towards a more mature one. Again, relationships are hard to maintain, but with the right person, the little (and big) things can be resolved without threats of a breakup. ;)
Before November Ends...
The year 2020 was NOT the year to have made life-changing decisions.
Granted, we thought this year would be full of new things, new opportunities, new... everything. What we got instead was a year full of heartache, death, depression, and WTF moments.
I can't even begin to summarize this year and how it's affected millions of people all over the world - but I don't really need to, don't I? We've seen it on the news and some have experienced it too close to home. Overall, COVID-19 was the biggest, baddest, most horrible bomb this year could've given.
I initially wanted this post to be a look-back post on the world's state and the calamities we've all faced, but who am I to speak for the millions who have been most affected? It's not something I can speak of, BUT I CAN talk about my own experiences.
This year, I had plans to travel across Asia. At the end of February, I already had a hotel booked in Japan and one in Bali. I wanted 2020 to be my breakout year, just me going around and experiencing things on my own. Boy was THIS the wrong year to do so.
You know that feeling of a new beginning? That drive to break free of constraints since there was nothing holding you back? That eagerness to try something new was something I was feeling at Q1 before everything went crazy. I wanted so bad to do my own thing and just be that badass traveler/nomad I always wanted to experience, working remotely and living life the way I wanted to.
Then COVID-19 smacked everyone on the face (and the back of the head).
It shocked me initially, since the last thing anyone expected was a pandemic (and so early in the year). But at the back of my head, it didn't seem too serious so I went ahead and scheduled my trips. When news broke that it was deadly AND contagious, I stopped. At the time, we had no idea how serious it actually was and how it would change everything.
Fast forward to December 2020, and we're all wearing masks and face shields (in the PH at least). The "new normal", as they like to call it. I wouldn't mind masks in cold weather, but wearing one in the PH is incredibly infuriating. It's itchy, rough on the face, extremely hot and humid - it just annoys the hell out of me.
I totally get that we need it to stay safe and stop the spread of the virus, but that doesn't mean I can't complain about it. I still wear it, but that comes after I complain and fret about having to wear one. But let's move on.
As I was saying, the pandemic shut down all my plans.
From enjoying the beaches of Bali and visiting Japanese shrines and anime districts to being a couch potato, working at home, and layering on the pounds monthly... it wasn't what I wanted to do, but here we are.
This might be coming off as a complaint, but you have to understand that no one wanted COVID 19. There we were, dreaming of a better year, when this suddenly happens. Who wouldn't complain?
Then again, we can't stay stuck and do nothing.
So there's the topic of working from home. I am so terribly blessed to have a job that's stable and a boss who is very understanding and encouraging. Working from home has been one of the best things I could've gotten into this year, before we got slapped.
I can only imagine how frustrated other employees must be, if they're under companies that haven't adjusted to the pandemic and who don't have their workers in mind. Tough times.
The year that was supposed to change people's lives for the better became the year it all went down the drain. From celebrity deaths to real life, personal struggles - 2020 has changed us. Changed us.
One other thing I've come to like about this whole ordeal is the fact that I am feeling much more... myself. Being at home really grounded me, made me reflect on decisions I've made in the past and what I need to do moving forward. When you're in an argument with yourself though, the debate goes on for days.
The point of this article? Nothing, really. It's been a while since I just sat in front of my computer and typed away. No structure, no topic, just me and my thoughts.
This is probably irrelevant to everybody but my blog started out as a diary for me to look back on after years and years, and I want to keep it personal. Regardless of how many sponsored posts I've written, this is still my personal online diary I let everyone read, haha.
Life can get better. It will. If it feels like you have no control over your circumstances, you don't. You know who has? God. Trust the process. Cliché, yes, but true. Nothing will ever come from doubt or fear. The moment you doubt yourself, the easier it will be to fail.
So yeah.
I SO can't wait for 2020 to be over.
This might be coming off as a complaint, but you have to understand that no one wanted COVID 19. There we were, dreaming of a better year, when this suddenly happens. Who wouldn't complain?
Then again, we can't stay stuck and do nothing.
So there's the topic of working from home. I am so terribly blessed to have a job that's stable and a boss who is very understanding and encouraging. Working from home has been one of the best things I could've gotten into this year, before we got slapped.
I can only imagine how frustrated other employees must be, if they're under companies that haven't adjusted to the pandemic and who don't have their workers in mind. Tough times.
The year that was supposed to change people's lives for the better became the year it all went down the drain. From celebrity deaths to real life, personal struggles - 2020 has changed us. Changed us.
One other thing I've come to like about this whole ordeal is the fact that I am feeling much more... myself. Being at home really grounded me, made me reflect on decisions I've made in the past and what I need to do moving forward. When you're in an argument with yourself though, the debate goes on for days.
The point of this article? Nothing, really. It's been a while since I just sat in front of my computer and typed away. No structure, no topic, just me and my thoughts.
This is probably irrelevant to everybody but my blog started out as a diary for me to look back on after years and years, and I want to keep it personal. Regardless of how many sponsored posts I've written, this is still my personal online diary I let everyone read, haha.
Life can get better. It will. If it feels like you have no control over your circumstances, you don't. You know who has? God. Trust the process. Cliché, yes, but true. Nothing will ever come from doubt or fear. The moment you doubt yourself, the easier it will be to fail.
So yeah.
I SO can't wait for 2020 to be over.
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