A Letter to End-of-2017 Me

Hey girl,

How are things? A lot can happen in a year, and I’m sure you’ve changed yet again. I’m writing this in the middle of Super Typhoon “Nina” at grandpa’s house in Partido, while listening to a song dad is playing on his laptop. Very church-y, complete with a choir and ad libs from the main male singer. I’m super stressed about a lot of things, mostly work-related. Also, I’m still being pressured to go abroad and get started on a career there.

But all in a day’s work.

I’m currently at a point in my life where I’ve figured out some parts of my existence, what to say or not say, whose bad side you’d want to stay clear from - just those random things. I’m currently scared of the future, scared for your present. How is it from the other end of the year? How much have things changed? Are you finally a millionaire (haha)?

All joking aside, I’ve got so many questions for you Vee. I’m hoping everything went well for you this past year. 

Did you finally move abroad for work? If you did, where you at? If you’re still in Naga, what’s keeping you from going forward?
Have you told people about your - you know - thing? The explanation for that bling you’ve been wearing on your pinky?
Have you finally kickstarted The Indy Miss as a proper brand and gained more organic interactions/followings?
How is your friendship with Pauline and Don? Any new ones?
Have you become more active at church? Part of a ministry?
Any thinner this year? Or is the babe still in want of a fluffy marshmallow to embrace?

What’s the biggest thing that happened to you this coming 2017? (Yeah, grammatically incorrect but whatever.)
What new things have you learned from people around you?
Have you attended more conferences and/or workshops this year? 
How about blogging events? Have you made noises in the blogging world yet?
Have you held more workshops for whatever? 
Have your planned collaborations worked out?

My financial status isn’t looking good, currently. My 13th month vanished into mid-air (haha) because of the pending bills and I still have more to pay. My salary is okay, but not enough to settle other payables. I’m hoping in your present situation you’ve been able to save up enough to not be subjected to this same hardship. 

The pressure to leave the country and work for a higher pay is like a root growing inside me. It’s getting bigger and more pronounced.

I want to cry, Vee, and it’s Christmas. CHRISTMAS TEARS, yay. It’s like I’ve dug a hole and wasn’t sure I’d be able to build a ladder afterwards. I’m powerless over this. If you’re in a better situation by the time you get back to reading this, then good for you! This means we were able to get out of that hole we dug in 2016. 

Veeyah, how is your heart? Is it happy? Sad? Calm? Is it bitter from anything? Just breathe an let what can slide, slide away. You may feel wronged or hurt or disappointed, but it’ll go away.

2016 wasn’t the best, but it was good. Good because more opportunities opened up and your skills expanded. You were able to land decent side jobs online with good pay, mostly writing jobs though. You experienced your first paid sponsorship too! Also, you didn’t get a Starbucks 2016 planner because the paper sucked. It couldn’t hold watercolor even if it tried. You got the Bliss and the DYL though, and got gifted the ABC Daily Journal via the office sneaky santa thing. You didn’t buy the Hobonichi this year because you were really struggling if the money would be worth it, and so you left it for 2018 instead. 

You got a package at the office that had all the signs it was for you aside from the name. Who is Ma. Myra Austero?! At this point in time, I still don’t know who she is, why my new number was on it, why they got every detail right aside from the name. It’s still actually at the office and I don’t plan on taking it home until the new year passes, just to be sure.

So yeah. It’s been reeealllyy weird. 2016 is hella weird. 

Let me know if anything major has changed with 2017 me (us?). 

Loving & hoping,

2016 Veeyah

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